Exhaustion

In the last seven days, I've participated in seven different church functions at three different locations. Sunday's service and New Year's Bash, Wednesday's PBBK, Friday's Youth Group, Saturday's in West Orange, and today's service in the morning and youth group at night. Now let's check that math again. Yep, seven, although I'm not so sure about the seven days. Today's the 8th, but it feels like a week since that was only last Sunday.

I also had my first and second post-break workouts. The body's not supposed to take what I'm doing to it and two inches of winter break's egg nog definitely doesn't help. I'm still sore, and it's been a few days since Friday. I start that up again tomorrow, something I'm not really that excited for.

Mental stress has been minimal as I've been shockingly on top of things lately. The journal might be helping with that, but right now I'm feeling that mind-body connection. If you're exhausted physically, it's still pretty hard to think straight.

And as far as all of these go, you wouldn't be surprised as to how I feel right now. I'm bloated, my eyes are barely open, I don't have the strength to get up and walk into the kitchen, even for a glass of water which I would love so much right now. Water's great. This is the perfect condition to be in if you want to go back to school in the morning, right? Not really. Let's hope tonight's sleep really makes a difference.

But I came to a new realization today, of a kind of spiritual exhaustion. Just as you wear away mentally and physically, even your spirit seems to get a little worn out sometimes. This would have sounded crazy to me yesterday, but it's almost sore, in its own kind of way, of course. It's a lot like being emotionally destroyed, but not in a bad way. It's a feeling like heartbreak, but not sad in the slightest. Just like a good workout leaves you feeling like you got hit by a train sometimes, publicly worshiping seven times a week is a bit of a strain. Maybe I'm just out of shape and this is conditioning week, but basically I'm just annihilated as far as the spirit, mind, and body go right now.

But still I write. Not because I feel like it, but because I'm obliged to do so. I promised myself it would be daily, and daily it has remained. I think it's gotten less popular, but that's more of a relief than anything else. It's really just a journal that I didn't know how to make private, but it's entertained a few people nonetheless and that makes me happy. I like the way people respond to it, but when I hear people talking about it I hope it's more to them than just a heap of words. I kinda just pour out my thoughts and I think it would be cool to look back on some of these things as time goes on. It's only been a week, so I'm not that fascinated with Monday or Thursday, but it's still nice to have something you do every night continuously. It provides a bit of structure in an otherwise wild world.

I'm literally falling asleep right now, which is probably a good thing considering what I'm up against tomorrow. I'm pretty sure there's a chemistry quiz, and there will definitely be a workout for me, so I just want to go to bed now. That cool? Did I write enough? I'd say so. Keeping it short and sweet tonight; good night everybody.

=)