Blog is just an ugly word. I set out to write a journal, not an elongated system of Facebook status updates. Remember this is for the writer, not the reader, and although it may be a good way of keeping up with my status, it's a journal, not a blog. Meaning it's not designed for readers, just for personal documentation of days, only I've chosen to make mine public, accessible for those interested to view. Recently, it's been too much a series of comments and replies, so I've changed the settings to hide comments, neutralizing that aspect of this journal. Now, this might not be the most popular decision, but this is an individually commandeered activity and I hold solid reasoning for it. Keeping readers in mind defeats the purpose for me, it distorts my focus and essentially forces me to deduct its accuracy and liberty to be unrestricted, what made it interesting in the first place. This is not an interaction, it's not a social site, it's a place to write and document my life. Feel free to exploit this (which is majorly why it's public in the first place) and entertain your self with the ins and outs of my life as you see fit. Just a little head's up and a reminder to myself of its original purpose.
In other news, today was another simple day. That's the deal when you're sick. You kinda just gotta take it easy, only do what you can, and let your body get itself back on its feet. Unfortunately, this comes as a sacrifice to the things you normally do and you don't really have a choice. Today, I couldn't lift. I couldn't go to PBBK. I had to isolate myself into the quarantine of my bedroom, chill, drink water, and just wait for things to get better. This also means I won't be able to go back-to-back with worship leading and I'll just have to keep things slow until I'm all the way back up on my feet.
Don't get me wrong, I want this cough to go away so I can get my life back. I'm not particularly appreciative of this coerced recuperation period. I wanted more than anything to lift today, I wanted to be active, I truly did want to go to PBBK, I just couldn't and that was something I had to accept. It bugs the hell out of me, but hey, life ain't perfect. Just the way we all like and love it. That fact ain't gonna change any time soon.
School was okay today. Got a few more e-mails from colleges, but I'm finally completely convinced that's not anything special. It's exciting, because it shows what's coming up next in life, but in and of itself it's not quite as exciting as I originally thought it was. What's better to look at is how I line up with the schools. Davidson's looking nice, American University's easy to get into, West Point's still up there. Boston College looks a little out of reach for the time being, but it's only half way through sophomore year. I don't really have any definite idea of where I want to go for school, but I'm always looking forward to Costa Rica. That'll really be an incredible experience.
I've been thinking up an alternative career though, a backup plan if you will. Another job of servitude, slight edge of danger, excitement you wouldn't find in the standard business world, not to mention another relatively high chance of saving some lives. Firefighter work sounds like it could very well be another match. Running into burning buildings, enacting a bit of heroism, and just being all that I can be. One holdback is that it wouldn't involve much language. Maybe it could just be another piece in the puzzle. Maybe it could be in place of military work, or more preferably before it, but then I think they could both be followed by work for a government agency like the CIA, FBI, Homeland, you name it.
That makes me want to go watch some 24 soon, definitely something to get out of the way before going to sleep. I love that show, could watch it over and over again, Jack Bauer is definitely one of my highest inspirations. If I were to be anybody else in the world, I would definitely want to be Jack Bauer. Not just because he's one of the most formidable badasses in television history, but also because of all the things he's had to deal with. If you've got no shit in your life, what's the point of going on with life? Don't we all just love a good struggle? Something to fight for? Something to fight against?
Our vocab book just brought up a pretty good word for that. Ennui. The book defines it as a weariness and dissatisfaction from lack of occupation or interest, boredom.
Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne just came onto the Guns N' Roses Pandora playlist. Love that song, even though it's one of those that's extremely overplayed. You could hear it a million times and still want to listen to it again. If I were to have to choose the only song I would ever be able to hear again, it might be this one. This one or It's My Life. Or maybe that Sherlock Holmes soundtrack. Or the unforgettable Now We Are Free from Gladiator. Or maybe I should be the good little church boy and choose a worship song, Our God is Greater, Our God is an Awesome God, or You Never Let Go? How about a compromise? A Skillet song? Hawk Nelson? Relient K =)? Comatose, Bring Em' Out, Pressing On? I don't know.. these are getting less and less appealing to listen to forever. What would you choose?
(See guys, I'll still write to you every once in a while, but you're not my focus. I'm not writing for you, and if I am, it's probably just to impress the historians that'll read these after you. We both know you're invading on my Dear Diary's.)
I'll still joke with you guys too. Some things might make you laugh, others might make you itch for a cheese grater, and some will probably have no effect whatsoever. Might just annihilate my pride and speed up your reading a little bit.
Anyway, I don't really want to ramble when there's an episode of 24 waiting to be watched, but I'll just hang on long enough to say goodbye.
Hope you're all having a great day and won't be too disappointed you won't be able to comment anymore (on here, anyway, Facebook is cool since it's sufficiently separate) and I'm looking forward to seeing you again, whoever you are, because that's just basically how I am. I like to see people. See and not hear, ladies and gents.
Good night folks!
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