The Individualist Servant

Throughout the flow of philosophical study in English, I feel myself buying into each one as it is presented to me, or at least certain particulars of each. From the strict absolutism of Puritans, the dark acknowledgement of the Dark Romantics, and the naturalistic optimism of the Transcedentalists, to the unified humility of the Indians and the ambitious survivalism of the Pilgrims, there is a treasure to be found in each. As I read, I also find myself in self evaluation, in attempt to determine where I fall as an individual and as a part of a larger societal system. How do I function and how do I think? How do I act and how do I believe? What do others think of me and what do I think of myself? Service of God aside, what is most important in my life? What am I to become and what am I to do with myself?

What truly are we save the compilation of what we experience, our strengths and weaknesses, what we put into place, and what we leave behind? What sets us apart from society and what uplifts us as individuals? Where is honor attained? Where is it applied? How do I maximize my use and understanding; how do I make the most of what I am given? Where do I lie my focus? What is my primary aspiration?

Endless questions, important answers not to be rushed. Lessons learned over the course of eternity, partially completed by life on Earth. Holy Spirit lead, the worldly course of life teach, Jesus exemplify, and God support. Life gradually reveals to us its secrets. Gradually do we learn its intricacies. And step by step do we form our legacies. Each day another piece in the puzzle, another step towards enlightenment, another lesson under the belt. Were it all revealed to us at once, what would be the point? Should we not enjoy and relish the perpetual pursuit of wisdom? The maximal implementation of legacy?

If life is a test established by God, how well are we going to score? The times to rest, the times to work, the times to reflect and the times to look forward, let them all be distinguished in our eyes. I proudly and humbly do not know all the areas of answer and claim my role as the novice of discernment. At a mere fifteen years of age, the world lies ahead and preparation slowly passes by. Adulthood arrival impending, what can I do but continue my life day by day? Relax, revel in God's granted rest, enjoy the thrill of action when it's come, allow satisfaction in the times that it is not. Patience, resolve, dedication and passion. Reflection, extroversion, power of will and the might of humility. Acceptance, responsibility, distinction and accomplishment. Exhaustion, vigor, and everlasting strive. Let these be my among virtues until I hit rock bottom.

Let me give until there's nothing left.

Let me take pride in the moments I can allow rest.

Let me be all I can be, attain maximal vision of self, leave behind a legacy worthy of remembrance, and dwell forever in the house of the Lord.

This be my prayer. This be my undying dream. This be my hopeful flame; might it never flicker.